- Friday, June 26, 2015 (25 weeks 4 days)
Today is a good day.
Johnny and I grew up in LDS households. When we met we were LDS. We married in the
temple and pledged to uphold certain ideals.
Then proposition 8 happened in California. Same sex marriage was
legalized in the state of California and Proposition 8 threatened to overturn
this ruling. The LDS church came out for the proposition and encouraged its
members to donate their time and effort to have this proposition passed. In our ward in Kansas, people seemed to
believe this gave them permission to preach the dangers of homosexuality during
testimony meeting and have lessons over it on other days. Sunday schools turned into political
lectures in some cases. It was discussed in the
hallways. There were rumors of members in other states being denied temple recommendations because they didn't support the cause. I know others didn't see this, but it's something that was amplified to those already struggling with teachings. While I had other issues with the church before, this didn’t sit
right with me. I remember staying up at
night, praying to understand the church’s stance. While I am not homosexual
myself, I did feel the profound struggle between choosing between my religion
and what I felt was right.
We ask that you do all you can to support the
proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure
that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a
woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of
marriage.
I quit attending church for this reason. I did not support the church’s position. I felt that if I continued to attend then I
would be condoning this belief. I would condone the idea that homosexuality is
a perversion. I would condone conversion
therapy. The church teaches that you cannot just sit on the fence- you must
pick a side. The worldly side or the religious.
I chose the worldly. How could I
not when I would feel physical ill as I would try to convince myself that the
prophet knows best in this matter?
To be clear- I don’t want you to grow up without religion. Rather, I want you to be critical of religion
and non-religion. I want you to have a
personal relationship with God in or out of church. I want you to do good, not because God told
you to do good, but because it’s the right thing to do. I want you to determine
your own moral compass and constantly reevaluate it.
As the years progressed, I fought for marriage equality in
my own way and became more cemented in my beliefs. I have to admit that I did not attend rallies
(although there was one in DC a few years ago that I really wanted to attend),
but I did stand up and make my beliefs and voice known to those around me. If
someone around me felt the need to use words like “fag” or demean homosexuals behind closed doors then I would try to
engage in a conversation with them. I
debated friends and acquaintances on what marriage is, and even lost a few
friends over it. But I don’t regret that. I regret not doing more.
Today brought me to tears.
What started as a personal journey years ago, as a straight white girl,
has seemed to come to a conclusion for now.
Marriage equality is legal in the United States of America. We are equal. Even if it is believed that God
does not accept same sex marriage, we are still equal here on earth and we all
have the chance for stability and happiness and love. I now stand more committed to this cause and
have not felt more comfortable in my relationship with God. Today is a good day
for the good guys.
