Why I decided to blog

Sometimes it feels lonely to be on this road.  I know I am far from alone and that sooooooo many women and  men go through this.  So why did I decide to write about my experiences?

For community:
For many women, myself included, when you're told that it will be difficult to have a kid you feel alone.  I've felt alone one other time in my life- when I was told I would have to wear a brace for scoliosis.  I was in middle school, and that experience did leave a mental scar.  Looking back I can see that I isolated myself.  I did not seek out support groups (although it was more difficult at the time, because we didn't have the same interaction online as we do now) and I didn't tell ANYONE about it.  Not even my closest friends.  I changed in the nurses office for volleyball practice, wouldn't let anyone touch me, and wore really baggy clothing in hopes of hiding it.  I didn't even like to talk to my family about it.  I am a perfectionist, so this was an imperfection that I couldn't do anything about.  I had no self esteem and nobody to talk to due to my self-imposed exile.

Nobody should feel this way.  This is why I reached out to others.  Since posting the previous post I have received so much wonderful feedback.  I talked with people I haven't talked to since middle school.  So many women shared with me their experiences and what they have gone through.  By doing this it normalizes fertility issues.  Talking about "taboo" topics will normalize these things.  It isn't something to be ashamed of- it's just a normal part of life, albeit a frustrating one.



For reassurance:
Again, I received a lot of feedback from my previous post. I guess I need that reassurance that I'm not crazy or defective.  I know I'm not 99% of the time, but I like to see the reassurance that other 1% of the time. This may be a selfish reason, but what can I say?  It is what it is.



For education:
I cannot express how uninformed I was about the reproduction process.  I know the basics, but that....was....it.  I know how to not have a kid, but not as much about having a kid.  I'm ashamed of this.  I'm ashamed that I didn't know the names of the hormones in my own body.  I'm ashamed to have not known that my cycle length meant that I'm not ovulating.  I'm ashamed that I didn't know more about ovulating and everything that goes into that.  I'm ashamed that I'm not more informed about my own body.

I'm frustrated that my doctors in the past just brushed me off when I expressed concern about my cycle.  They just put me on a pill to regulate it.  They didn't try to find a reason for it, and that frustrates me.  I'm frustrated that I didn't know how to advocate for myself. I'm happy that I was able to find a doctor who ran tests before knowing that we were even trying for a kid.  I want people to learn from my experience and I can learn from their experiences.


Thank you all for sharing your experiences and kind words.

-Laura